Do we really need solitude? Why?

In a moment of solitude, do you find your instinct is to escape it?

These days we avoid spending time by ourselves. Instead we turn, often subconsciously, to our phones. We check emails, scroll social media, text somebody, check things again.

I sure do this, and maybe you do too.

The need to always be busy governs us. Our culture tells us that alone time, or quiet time with inputs, is wasted time.

But this is a lie.

Solitude, true solitude, isn’t the same as simply being apart from other’s physical company. No, a real definition of solitude is, “a subjective state when your mind is free from other inputs.” (Kethledge & Irwin). Fact is, our souls need stillness without the input of a million voices.

In her book Reclaiming Conversation: the Power of Talk in a Digital Age, sociologist Sherry Turkle says,

“When a moment of boredom arises, we have become accustomed to making it go away by searching for something – sometimes anything – on our phones. The next step is to take the same moment and respond by searching within ourselves. To do this, we have to cultivate the self as a resource. Beginning with the capacity for solitude. Solitude is challenged by our habit of turning to our screens rather than inward.”

Problem is, we want stimulation, not quiet or reflection. But continual stimulation will never feed our souls the way rest, just being, can.

How often do YOU prioritize putting down the phone and allowing yourself to be alone with your thoughts? 

It doesn’t feel appealing - our screen-scrolling “habit” can be hard to break - but it’s still life-saving. True rest, true solitude, is active – feeling our own feelings, taking note of our own thoughts, turning inward and exploring. 

Allowing our minds to reflect and wander is where we discover our true desires. It’s where creativity begins and where we learn to become our own friends. In this stillness, too, we draw closer to God. 

Without these quiet moments of the soul, without real rest, are we really living?

Solitude is a gift we moderns are passing by… but it might just save our lives. So let’s try it! Go for a walk without your phone this week, or sit alone outside for a few minutes just to think. Take notice of moments of stillness and lean into them instead of reaching for a screen. 

A regular practice of doing such small activities will make more of difference than you can imagine.

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